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Community Police Reports

(All information is preliminary and subject to change pending investigation and/or hitherto unforeseen circumstances with regards to political goings-on.) Theft-Motor Vehicle On June 7, at 1:26 p.m., Constable Billingsly was dispatched to the Public Transit Hub and Eatery to take report of a stolen motor vehicle.  The victim stated that his motor vehicle was a drunk-tank pink 1965 Plymouth Barracuda with zaffre adornments.  The car has no noticeable characteristics that would make it stick out.  The victim, Oswald Carrington IV, of the Brooksville Carringtons, stated that he is single and actively looking to court females of Caribbean descent between the ages of 27 and 32, unless otherwise authorized.  The victim stated that his car was stolen sometime between last Saturday, June 6th and July 5th, 1965.  Carrington stated that he parks his carriage in his car port on all nights except those occurring on days that are a prime number away from January 1st, in wh...
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The Dancing Boys

  “Its been thirty-seven years since Ive had a proper breakfast sandwich”, the old man said, sitting on a plastic bench in a McDonalds.  Across him was a much younger man, barely a man at all.  He only paid the older man half attention, but humored him with a follow-up. “What was thirty-seven years ago?” “Oh, it was a diner.  Vermont.  Southern Vermont.  But in the middle of the state, east-to-west wise.”  The olderman tore apart the pancakes in front of him.  The young man had only a cup of coffee.  He stared at the side of the cup, making geometric shapes in the styrofoam with the edge of his thumbnail. “Ludlow.  Beautiful ski slopes.  Better class of people up there.  Not a McDonalds for a hundred miles”. “And that was the last time you had a proper breakfast sandwich”.  The young man stated this.  It wasnt a question.  But it was.  It was a prodding for a backstory that the old man was clearly ...
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